Can You Still Have Romance After 42 Years of Marriage?

The Mortified Looks On Their Faces 

Our daughters:  “Mom and Dad, romantic?”  

            “Please…do not embarrass us!”

How Did We Get Here?

Was I destined to cross paths with the right partner at the right time in my life?  Sliding doors/do you ever wonder how your life would be different now if you had taken the other door

fullsizeoutput_5178

Is it pure luck to meet and marry my best friend?  40th anniversary/you know he is a keeper when

image

How did losing my wedding ring help me reflect on my marriage? I was tempted to lie to my husband

image

One Definition of Romance

Romance is the feeling we chase in relationships. … It’s a powerful force that makes you feel connected to someone in a deeper way. It’s the gestures, both big and small, that make you feel especially wooed and especially cherished by your partner. Romance is what takes your relationship past friendship.  healthy relationships/what is romance

Friends Share Their Thoughts on a Happy Relationship and Romance

  • Separate interests
  • Similar interests
  • Similar values
  • Communication
  • Chemistry
  • Tolerance
  • Laughing often

The number one response in 2020 for a happy relationship is 

                         The Man Cave!

    

Moments That Make a Marriage

A Peak Into Our Private Life

  • The first Summer we met – A birthday cake for me and inviting a few people over when I was all by myself in a new community.
  • Running the four minute mile home, after receiving my message, “I think the T.V. is on fire!” 
  • Not flushing the toilet when I am in the shower.
  • Kissing me after I have been car sick (albeit a quick kiss on the cheek)
  • The dishes are done before I wake up in the morning.  No job is beneath you.
  • Perfecting braids, pigtails and ponytails.
  • Torrential rains and hours putting up tarps.
  • Dropping everything to meet me at the hospital when one of the children is sick.
  • Countless hours helping with ill, fragile and compromised parents.

        A marriage may not always be 50/50.  Sometimes it is contributing 100%.  Especially when your partner needs you the most. 

As For My Question On Romance After 42 Years of Marriage? 

The ingredients for a long term, happy marriage are as varied and unique as the couples in the relationship. 

Romance is made up of moments, the gestures, both big and small.

Life is always precious. 

The gift of time, priceless.

Especially now.

I am grateful for the 42 years we have had together.  I will cherish the moments ahead of us.

             Happy Anniversary, Dear.

November 24, 1978

What ingredients would you add for a happy relationship and romance?

Behind The Scenery

A Romantic Getaway

Carving out precious alone time together has always been a priority for us.

A challenge when raising children and work schedules.

Even now, obligations and commitments fill our days.  

Our Anniversary Retreat at Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort

A rustic cottage in the woods.

Rejuvenating, nurturing and relaxing mineral pools at the Grotto Spa. 

Exquisite, Endless Tapas dining at the Treetop Tapas & Grill.  One of the best meals we have ever had!  

All in the comfort of dining in our robes. 

Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort gave me permission to share the above photos from their photo gallery. We were not allowed to take photos inside the Grotto Spa and Treetop Tapas & Grill.

Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort and The Treetop Tapas & Grill at the Grotto Spa

A Bonus Gift On Our Getaway

The kind, warm welcome, visiting our friends, Donna (Retirement Reflections Blog) and her husband, Richard.

 A Perfect 42nd Anniversary! 

148 thoughts on “Can You Still Have Romance After 42 Years of Marriage?

  1. What a lovely post, Erika. Happy anniversary. I’m sorry I’m so late visiting this post, but my sons have been writing exams for three long weeks and I’ve had to spend a lot of time studying with my youngest. Going for dinner in your robe is interesting, I’ve never even done that at home.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Never worry about the timing on a response, Robbie. I do not know how you juggle it all. Family is always a priority, especially during peak times. I hope the stress of exams is now over.

      Thank you for the anniversary good wishes. I had heard about this dining experience from others. The robe and exquisite food. Always excellent reviews. I am glad we booked it for the beginning of November since everything has changed around here, again. x

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Happy anniversary Erica! Forty-two years is impressive indeed. You must have found the right combination for your happy marriage. There are so many things that go into a happy marriage, and as you pointed out, the answers are as varied as the people answering. For me, it is having similar interests and values, and allowing space for each other to also have their own interests. It is small daily gestures of love and kindness. It’s understanding when one or the other is not at their best. It is communicating…and sitting comfortably quiet together. Of course, there is so much more than that, but those are the things that come off the top of my head. Wishing you many more happy years together!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your good wishes, Christie. Definitely some ups and downs along the way. Yet, grateful to be here. You make great points and I think the concept of space has surfaced this year. A lot of togetherness, yet, we all need our space. The communicating and sitting quietly together resonates with us. Like you also say, Christie, the answers as varied as the people answering. I hope you and loved ones are well.xx

      Like

  3. Erica/Erika
    happy anniversary

    I think there is a lot of wisdom for everyone here – especially his universal tip:

    “The ingredients for a long term, happy marriage are as varied and unique as the couples in the relationship. Romance is made up of moments, the gestures, both big and small.”

    and then the personal shares just have me smiling 🙂 the photos of the younger couple were great and you both have aged gracefully and with JOY

    oh and liked the part about how sometimes it is 100% pouring in and not the 50/50 angle – that is a really good point – and for me – — I appreciate my husband’s yielding side – and that we trust each other’s discernment when needed.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Yvette. I wasn’t sure where I was going with this post since so much has been said before on this subject. Somewhere over the years I heard about a marriage not being only 50/50. It is “pouring” in 100%, especially when needed.

      “Yielding” and “discernment” and “trust.” Great qualities showing true wisdom, sensitivity and love.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. What a beautiful and heartwarming post Erica. Firstly a belated congratulations on your anniversary. Laughter is such a key ingredient in a happy long term relationship. And of course being able to communicate as even the strongest relationships can drift when couples don’t talk. Takes effort to keep the spark going but it sounds like you guys are doing brilliantly and the romance is well and truly alive. Here’s to many more wonderful years together. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your very kind and thoughtful comment, Miriam. You make a good point on laughter. Despite this weird year, we still seem to laugh every day. You are right about communication. Even with difficult subjects. Your word “spark” made me smile. Possibly our interpretation of “spark” is me reading a book all day and Chuck puttering around outside. Works for us. I hope you and your loved ones are well, Miriam.xx ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry for reading your post late, Erica. I took several days off from blogging. What a lovely post to share your insight about your marriage and the 42nd anniversary. Your retreat was wonderful and the location was perfect. What a great place to feel the romance in a fresh way. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Never apologize for taking days off blogging, Miriam. Our personal life is always a priority. I don’t know how you do it all and so well. Your kindness is always felt in the bogging community. Thank you for your thoughtful comment about our Anniversary. I feel very fortunate on many levels. I love your phrase “romance in a fresh way.”❤️

      Like

  6. Erica, a Happy Anniversary to you both … the love and joy in your marriage shines forth! After 42 years you know more than most it isn’t the big grand gestures that mean the most, but the small and I love your list of them here. Behind each bullet point is a long story which I would love to hear! Really knowing each other are the actions which might not be a big deal but mean so much! Oh, your getaway spa looks divine, so idyllic and the food looks divine. I love all your photos … .literally a man cave! As for you two in 1978, are you sure you were old enough to marry!! You are SO young! Adorable, the huge smiles say it all! Congratulations again, my dear friend. love & hugs xx ❤️🌺😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Annika, I was not sure what I was going to write in this post that has not been said before. You get right to the core of the message in how there is often a long story behind every point. All relationships have these unique, multi-layered stories. I feel very fortunate to make it this far and I treasure the time we have left together. It is nice to hear from you, Annika. ❤️ I am back to Zoom reading with my granddaughters. “Oskar’s Quest” is one of their two favourite books they request on our date. I hope all is well. Take care. Hugs. xx ❤️😁

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m late in wishing you Happy Anniversary, but from your post, I know that Happy wishes count all year long. I agree with all of your reasons why romance (and a great marriage) last. 42 years means that there have been lots of highs, and lots of lows, but working through both together makes for such a strong bond! My guy is still recovering from his burst appendix/sepsis shock, and wow, this has been a challenging fall for us. But if anything, working together for his recovery and good health has made our already strong bond, stronger. Those of us who “slid” through the right door to find each other – we ARE the lucky ones. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Pam, I appreciate you visiting and sharing your thoughts at any time. I am presently two weeks behind reading blogs due to some personal challenges/priorities.

      I am very sorry to hear about your guy. Scary! Especially sepsis. You remind me how going through the challenges and supporting each other is what strengthens a relationship. My husband and I discuss this when we see our children going through challenges. We often have to step back and let them work through it. Difficult. I have always had the “sliding door” thoughts in the back of my mind. You are right, Pam. We are the lucky ones. Take care and I look forward to connecting throughout the year.❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thinking of you and hope all is well. Never easy to go through personal challenges but they are the priority! I don’t mind my own challenges, but as I see my (adult) children go through them, I worry too much, and yet I know, as you say, that I need to step back. SO hard to do! xo

        Liked by 2 people

  8. Erica, what a sweet heartfelt tribute to your relationship. Forty-two years together is a wonderful accomplishment in itself, and that you are still celebrating your anniversary with special moments together is the cherry on top. Tigh-Na-Mara is a lovely resort. My three children took me there to celebrate my 60th birthday/retirement and we enjoyed the Grotto, tapas in the grill, and massages. Rob declined to participate as spas and massages are not his thing, but we have many other ways we love to spend time together.

    Jude

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jude, for your kind comment. I wasn’t sure where I would go with this post that has not been said before. As you know, relationships are very unique. We were pleasantly surprised about Tigh-Na-Mara. We were there about 20 years ago. Things have changed a great deal. I love seeing your photos on how you and Rob enjoy many adventures together.❤️

      Like

  9. Happy belated anniversary Erica!
    Such a heart-warming story, thank you for sharing it with us. Forty-two years is an achievement for the heart 🙂 It gives me hope, that in such busy times there are couples who still try hard to make it work.

    Blessings to you both and a Merry Christmas to your wonderful family!

    Like

Leave a Reply to markbierman Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s