Can You Still Have Romance After 42 Years of Marriage?

The Mortified Looks On Their Faces 

Our daughters:  “Mom and Dad, romantic?”  

            “Please…do not embarrass us!”

How Did We Get Here?

Was I destined to cross paths with the right partner at the right time in my life?  Sliding doors/do you ever wonder how your life would be different now if you had taken the other door


Is it pure luck to meet and marry my best friend?  40th anniversary/you know he is a keeper when


How did losing my wedding ring help me reflect on my marriage? I was tempted to lie to my husband


One Definition of Romance

Romance is the feeling we chase in relationships. … It’s a powerful force that makes you feel connected to someone in a deeper way. It’s the gestures, both big and small, that make you feel especially wooed and especially cherished by your partner. Romance is what takes your relationship past friendship.  healthy relationships/what is romance

Friends Share Their Thoughts on a Happy Relationship and Romance

  • Separate interests
  • Similar interests
  • Similar values
  • Communication
  • Chemistry
  • Tolerance
  • Laughing often

The number one response in 2020 for a happy relationship is 

                         The Man Cave!


Moments That Make a Marriage

A Peak Into Our Private Life

  • The first Summer we met – A birthday cake for me and inviting a few people over when I was all by myself in a new community.
  • Running the four minute mile home, after receiving my message, “I think the T.V. is on fire!” 
  • Not flushing the toilet when I am in the shower.
  • Kissing me after I have been car sick (albeit a quick kiss on the cheek)
  • The dishes are done before I wake up in the morning.  No job is beneath you.
  • Perfecting braids, pigtails and ponytails.
  • Torrential rains and hours putting up tarps.
  • Dropping everything to meet me at the hospital when one of the children is sick.
  • Countless hours helping with ill, fragile and compromised parents.

        A marriage may not always be 50/50.  Sometimes it is contributing 100%.  Especially when your partner needs you the most. 

As For My Question On Romance After 42 Years of Marriage? 

The ingredients for a long term, happy marriage are as varied and unique as the couples in the relationship. 

Romance is made up of moments, the gestures, both big and small.

Life is always precious. 

The gift of time, priceless.

Especially now.

I am grateful for the 42 years we have had together.  I will cherish the moments ahead of us.

             Happy Anniversary, Dear.

November 24, 1978

What ingredients would you add for a happy relationship and romance?

Behind The Scenery

A Romantic Getaway

Carving out precious alone time together has always been a priority for us.

A challenge when raising children and work schedules.

Even now, obligations and commitments fill our days.  

Our Anniversary Retreat at Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort

A rustic cottage in the woods.

Rejuvenating, nurturing and relaxing mineral pools at the Grotto Spa. 

Exquisite, Endless Tapas dining at the Treetop Tapas & Grill.  One of the best meals we have ever had!  

All in the comfort of dining in our robes. 

Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort gave me permission to share the above photos from their photo gallery. We were not allowed to take photos inside the Grotto Spa and Treetop Tapas & Grill.

Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort and The Treetop Tapas & Grill at the Grotto Spa

A Bonus Gift On Our Getaway

The kind, warm welcome, visiting our friends, Donna (Retirement Reflections Blog) and her husband, Richard.

 A Perfect 42nd Anniversary! 

131 thoughts on “Can You Still Have Romance After 42 Years of Marriage?

  1. What a lovely post, Erika. Happy anniversary. I’m sorry I’m so late visiting this post, but my sons have been writing exams for three long weeks and I’ve had to spend a lot of time studying with my youngest. Going for dinner in your robe is interesting, I’ve never even done that at home.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Never worry about the timing on a response, Robbie. I do not know how you juggle it all. Family is always a priority, especially during peak times. I hope the stress of exams is now over.

      Thank you for the anniversary good wishes. I had heard about this dining experience from others. The robe and exquisite food. Always excellent reviews. I am glad we booked it for the beginning of November since everything has changed around here, again. x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy anniversary Erica! Forty-two years is impressive indeed. You must have found the right combination for your happy marriage. There are so many things that go into a happy marriage, and as you pointed out, the answers are as varied as the people answering. For me, it is having similar interests and values, and allowing space for each other to also have their own interests. It is small daily gestures of love and kindness. It’s understanding when one or the other is not at their best. It is communicating…and sitting comfortably quiet together. Of course, there is so much more than that, but those are the things that come off the top of my head. Wishing you many more happy years together!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your good wishes, Christie. Definitely some ups and downs along the way. Yet, grateful to be here. You make great points and I think the concept of space has surfaced this year. A lot of togetherness, yet, we all need our space. The communicating and sitting quietly together resonates with us. Like you also say, Christie, the answers as varied as the people answering. I hope you and loved ones are well.xx


  3. Erica/Erika
    happy anniversary

    I think there is a lot of wisdom for everyone here – especially his universal tip:

    “The ingredients for a long term, happy marriage are as varied and unique as the couples in the relationship. Romance is made up of moments, the gestures, both big and small.”

    and then the personal shares just have me smiling 🙂 the photos of the younger couple were great and you both have aged gracefully and with JOY

    oh and liked the part about how sometimes it is 100% pouring in and not the 50/50 angle – that is a really good point – and for me – — I appreciate my husband’s yielding side – and that we trust each other’s discernment when needed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Yvette. I wasn’t sure where I was going with this post since so much has been said before on this subject. Somewhere over the years I heard about a marriage not being only 50/50. It is “pouring” in 100%, especially when needed.

      “Yielding” and “discernment” and “trust.” Great qualities showing true wisdom, sensitivity and love.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. What a beautiful and heartwarming post Erica. Firstly a belated congratulations on your anniversary. Laughter is such a key ingredient in a happy long term relationship. And of course being able to communicate as even the strongest relationships can drift when couples don’t talk. Takes effort to keep the spark going but it sounds like you guys are doing brilliantly and the romance is well and truly alive. Here’s to many more wonderful years together. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your very kind and thoughtful comment, Miriam. You make a good point on laughter. Despite this weird year, we still seem to laugh every day. You are right about communication. Even with difficult subjects. Your word “spark” made me smile. Possibly our interpretation of “spark” is me reading a book all day and Chuck puttering around outside. Works for us. I hope you and your loved ones are well, Miriam.xx ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry for reading your post late, Erica. I took several days off from blogging. What a lovely post to share your insight about your marriage and the 42nd anniversary. Your retreat was wonderful and the location was perfect. What a great place to feel the romance in a fresh way. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Never apologize for taking days off blogging, Miriam. Our personal life is always a priority. I don’t know how you do it all and so well. Your kindness is always felt in the bogging community. Thank you for your thoughtful comment about our Anniversary. I feel very fortunate on many levels. I love your phrase “romance in a fresh way.”❤️


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