I Was Tempted To Lie To My Husband

Aukland Zoo, New Zealand

 

Not a good thing.

Especially two weeks before our wedding anniversary.

Is there ever a good time to lie?

It is actually an act of omission.  Something I did not want to tell him.

Is this still considered a lie?

 

It Started Last Sunday

I had booked a massage.  A real treat.

Before the massage, I took off my wedding ring and I placed it in my wallet. 

An hour of bliss followed. 

On the way home I stopped at Discovery Coffee to buy coffee beans.  They have the best coffee in Victoria and it is worth the drive to pick up the beans.

                       A perfect end to my week.              

Frenchman Lake, Yukon, 2011

Monday Morning   

I realized I was not wearing my wedding ring.

I was quite certain I had placed it in my wallet. 

I checked my wallet. No luck. 

I did have spa brain yesterday, so I might be wrong.

I completely emptied my purse.  No luck.

I phoned the Spa to see whether anyone had turned in a wedding ring, a simple gold band.  Nothing.  

I phoned Discovery Coffee.  They checked the back desk where lost and found items are placed.  Nada.    

 

Darn.  I Feel Sick To My Stomach.

It is just a ring.  A material object. 

I am actually surprised I haven’t lost it before now. 

I take it off before every yoga class, sometimes placing it on the towel next to me.  I used to take it off before running when I used to run.  My fingers swell and I am not in the mood to have anything cut off.

It is only a physical item.  It is not as if anything serious has happened, especially to anyone I love.

Physical items can be replaced.

Then why do I feel sick to my stomach?

 

Forty-one Years Ago

This ring was given to me as a symbol of commitment and a promise we made to each other.

Forty-one years ago it was a shiny, simple, smooth gold band.

Forty-one years later this ring shows some wear and tear.  Not unlike all marriages.

            This ring means even more to me now.

It represents a friendship and a life we have built together.

It is symbolic of our enduring love for each other.

 

I Do Not Want To Tell My Husband

I am disappointed and upset.  I will likely start crying.

He may not even notice the missing ring.

I could replace the ring with a similar looking gold band.

My husband would say the right things to make me feel better.  He always does. 

He has been my best friend for over forty-one years.  I have always been able to count on him.

 

Thursday Morning

I phone the Spa and Discovery Coffee again.

       A last-ditch effort to find the ring.

Nothing was turned in at the Spa.

A friendly voice answers at Discovery Coffee.  Yes, they have found the ring!”  

Happy tears.

 

Am I Using Up My Good Luck Quota?

I often think of luck as a finite amount of good in my life.

I am allocated a limited quantity of good luck in my lifetime.  I do not want to waste it. 

I recently wrote about finding the Ruby Red Slippers  link here   Now my ring shows up.  These are two small examples of something good going my way.

                   What are the chances? 

I would rather save the good luck for the most important parts of my life, the people in my life.  My loved ones. 

I realize life doesn’t work this way.

We play the cards we are dealt, good and bad.

I am grateful for the hand I have been dealt for most of my life.

Jokulsarlon Glacier, Iceland

Do I Tell My husband? 

Lying is not a good thing.  

Yet, we are also not perfect.  I am sure the both of us have kept silent at times or told white lies to spare feelings. 

We believe in communication in our marriage.  Even on difficult subjects. 

After all these years, I could not hide anything from my husband.  We know each other too well.

Communication is often non-verbal.  

Aukland Zoo, New Zealand

Lost Or Found

I was not aware how much this ring meant to me, until I lost it.

         A good reminder for a great deal in life.

I also do not need an object to remind me of our respect and love for each other.  For us, love is a verb.  We show up for each other every day.

I was planning to tell my husband about the ring, lost or found.

When he opens his inbox today and reads this story. 

                      Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart.

Thank you for the forty-one years we have shared together.  I look forward to many more.

 

 

 

November 24, 1978

 

Have you ever lost a special item?  Are there times when not telling the truth is a good thing?

 

Postscript:   Last night I read a beautiful true story, on Jill Weatherholt’s blog about   A 94-year-old couple who had been married for 75 years.      Jill added this quote from Richard Bach. “True love stories never have endings.”

A few hours later I read Pamela Wight’s beautiful, poignant story on her blog, Roughwighting.  The  Once to Now  feels like a brief moment in time.  Where did the time go?

 

Related Links:

Sliding Doors. Do You Ever Wonder How Your Life Would Be Different Now If You Had Taken The Other Door.

40th Anniversary, You Know He Is A Keeper

Do You Believe A Person’s Energy Can Be Attached To An Object?

Where Are The Ruby Red Slippers?

 

Erica or Erika? Which Name Should I Keep?

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Jokulsarlon Glacier Lagoon, James Bond aka 007 was filmed here, twice.

I Am Living Under A False Name.

An alias.  A pseudonym.  A false identity.

Not intentionally.

Although, this could still have serious repercussions.

 

I Have Been Called Different Names In My Life. 

  • My husband often calls me “Sweetie” or “Dear.”  He likely has a few more names for me (under his breath).
  • My daughters call me “Mom.”
  • My parents used to call me “Friedchen.”  It is a term of endearment using my middle name.
  • The last few years I have had the privilege of being called “Grandma Erica.”

 

When Did Erica/Erika Begin?

When I began school, my teachers always wrote my name as “Erica.”  I learned to write my name as “Erica.”  

My signature on all of my paperwork, wedding certificate, driver’s license and bank cards is “Erica.”

Much later in life, a glance at my birth certificate revealed “Erika.”  I did not think it really mattered at this point.

                      I was wrong!

 

9/11 Was Pivotal.

New passport regulations carefully scrutinized the spelling of all names.  I had to make sure my passport name, birth certificate and signature were an exact match. 

I now had to sign specific documents with the spelling “Erika.”  I was not at all used to writing this “new” name.

 

My Wonderful Boss With A Great Sense Of Humour.

I was fortunate to work in a very progressive dental office for almost twenty-five years.  We often had the opportunity to take continuing education courses and attend conferences.  Some of the conferences were held in a different city and out of the country. 

This dentist was finalizing the travel arrangements for a conference.  He was initially puzzled about the “new” name, “Erika.”  Our passport and ticket information had to be accurate.

He had a great sense of humour.  From now on, he would address correspondence to me as “Erica/Erika.”

                        It aways made me smile.

                 

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Landmannalaugar, Iceland

Beginning the WordPress Blog.

I watched YouTube videos and I went to “how to start a blog” websites. I did not want to overthink the process.  I might change my mind.

Behindthescenery” domain was already taken.  Therefore, I chose “Behindthesceneryphoto.” 

I had to type in a username.

                    I typed in “Erica/Erika.” 

I did not want to interrupt the flow of setting up a WordPress blog.  I could always finesse things later. 

 

Almost Everyone Has A Story Behind Their Name.

They may have a name in honour of a family member.  We were advised to name our first child, “Donat.”  We politely disregarded this suggestion.  You are welcome, Sara.

 

 

Some people choose to change their name for various reasons.

Some people prefer to use their middle name or a nickname.

A glance at a birth certificate may reveal a name different from the one they have been called all their life. 

 

My Thoughts This Moment In Time.

Most of the time I use the name, “Erica.”

Specific documents necessitate the spelling, “Erika.”  My hands may shake when my signature requires this “new” spelling.  I play by the rules.

In today’s world of minimalism and simplifying, “Erica/Erika” is now six syllables.  Am I taking up too much room?  It is cyberspace after all. 

Readers in our blogging community have also been using “E/E.” 

 

Do I Change The Name On My Blog?

I do not mind what I am called.  “Erica” sounds the same as “Erika” to me.  

I like and answer to all of the above.

As for the name on my blog?

                 I am keeping “Erica/Erika.”  At least for now.  

                                It always makes me smile.

 

Do you have a story behind your name?  Would you like to change your name?

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“Friedchen”

The Story Behind The Story

I had just completed a draft of this story about my name(s). I was not sure when or whether I would click “publish.”

This week my blog crossed paths with a blogger new to me, Annika from  Annika Perry’s Writing Blog 

Curious to learn more about her, I clicked on her blog site.  Her most recent post:  What’s in a Name? Book Review.

Immediate goosebumps for me. 

Annika writes an in depth, engaging review of “What’s in a Name” a book of short stories written by Sally Cronin.   Smorgasbord Blog Magazine   Behind every name there is a story.  

                             Synchronicity?  Coincidence?

I especially like a quote from Yvette,  Priorhouse Blog  “Don’t you love it when blog world meets the real world?”

                           Does this ever happen to you?

 

 

Do You Have Different Friends For Different Seasons?

 

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Holland Creek Trail, Ladysmith, British Columbia

 

What happens when The Widow Badass, Retirement Reflections and Behind the Scenery meet up?

You guessed it!  A whole lot of shenanigans!

I am sharing your word, Joanne .  Thank you for sharing your friend.

 

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Two Beautiful Ladies on a carpet of leaves

We Have Three Types Of Friends In Life

  • Friends for a Reason. 

  • Friends for a Season.

  • And Friends for a Lifetime.

 

 

The Reason

Deb  The Widow Badass Blog  was visiting The Island.  Donna Retirement Reflections Blog  plus Deb and I met at “The Old Town Bakery” in Ladysmith thanks to Donna’s recommendation.

I know only a few things about Ladysmith.

  • Pamela Anderson was born and raised here.
  • The Christmas Festival of Lights is a huge event.  
  • It is worth stopping at The Old Town Bakery, voted as having “The best cinnamon buns on the island.” 

The constant flow of people coming in and out of this bakery and my taste buds agree with all of the praise. 

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The Season

Autumn.

A beautiful, peaceful time of year with changing colours and cooler temperatures.

Perfect for going on a hike and exploring The Holland Creek Trail in Ladysmith.  Another great recommendation from Donna.  Donna shares more detailed information and beautiful photos here

 

 

 

 

 

Perfect for spending time with these two amazing women. 

That evening, at home, my husband asked me about my day and my new friends.

 Searching for words, I told him,  “Donna and Deb are More.”

            “They are More interesting, More witty, More kind and caring, and More beautiful inside and out than you may imagine reading their blogs.  We had a lot of fun!”

 

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Walking into a Fairy Tale

Friends For A Lifetime

Most of us have made more than one Friend in our lifetime:

  • The going to the movies Friend.
  • The work Friend.
  • The foodie Friend.
  • The fearless adventurer Friend.
  • The pour your heart out and share your soul Friend.  
  • The very wise Friend.
  • And more recently, the Blogging Friend.

 

If we are fortunate, we will have Friends for a Lifetime.  Priceless.

 

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The Salmon Whisperer
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Pretty in the Rain

The Autumn of my life

I am truly grateful for all of my Friends.  

You have enriched my life beyond measure.

I cherish our precious time together.  An irreplaceable gift.

We share hobbies.  We share stories.  We share a part of ourselves.

                  

                      Our life becomes More.   We become More.

 

Do you have long term friends?  Have you recently made new friends? 

 

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Obligatory Selfie of three goofy (oops, intelligent) women

Roughing it! Why Leave The Comforts Of Home?

Why Go Camping?

 

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  • Is it the Forest Bathing?  Do the trees emit oils that replenish my body?
  • Is it the Ions near the ocean?  I feel more in balance when I am near water. 
  • Is it the Silence in the presence of nature.  My breathing slows down.  I have a sense of peace and belonging.

 

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Getting There

 We are all packed and excited to get on our way.  We are heading to Long Beach on the West Coast of Vancouver Island.   

This campground is fully booked almost a year in advance.  The sites are a hot commodity, almost as difficult to obtain as tickets to U2, Pink, and Justin Bieber.

It takes us approximately six hours to drive to the West Coast.  No ferry travel, which is a bonus.  We travel through lush forests and beside beautiful lakes.  10 Reasons Why You Should Not Live On The Island

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We Bring The Basics

  • Eight foot camper.  Easier than a tent.
  • Tarps.  Tarps.  And more Tarps.  My husband is the Griswold of camping.
  • Layers of clothing.  It is Fall weather with a combination of sun and rain.
  • Camping food.  Everything tastes better outdoors.
  • Many books downloaded on an ereader plus hard copy books.
  • A good, flexible attitude.  Nature and camping can be unpredictable.

 

We Bring Extras

  • Fondue Pot.  A real treat and a tradition for the two of us.
  • Blueberry tea ingredients.  A classic recipe resurfaced from 1970’s camping.  A combination of amaretto liqueur, orange liqueur, hot Earl Grey tea or Orange Pekoe tea.
  • Propane campfire.  Campfire bans are often in effect.
  • More tarps.

 

8 Reasons I Love To Go Camping

1.  I spend uninterrupted time with my husband.  Our discussions contain topics we don’t delve into at home.  These topics often contain the truly important layers of our life. 

Our discussions often contain silence.

       “When you can sit in perfect silence with someone, you truly know how to

                          communicate.” Richard Wagamese

 

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2.  I go for long hikes. 

3.  I watch the sunset. 

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4.  I see the stars and the planets at night. 

5.  I take many photos giving me new perspectives on my surroundings.

 

 

6.  I can read all day and not feel guilty how I should be getting more accomplished at home. I indulged in many books this past week.  (see bottom of page)

 

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 7.  The Sound of the Ocean.  The Sounds of the Birds.

                             The Sounds of Silence. 

8.  Ocean and lakes as far as the eyes can see. Untouched old growth forests.  Open spaces.  

                It is in these Spaces where I feel most Whole. 

 

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Why Leave The Comforts Of Home?

Many great books are available on the Blue Zones and the concept of Health, Happiness and Living our Best Life.  One of the books I just finished reading is “The Blue Zones of Happiness” by Dan Buettner.  This book reinforces and  summarizes many of the concepts we have learned about enriching the quality of our life.  

Hundreds of factors affect our happiness. The research shows how 40% is what we can affect through our behaviour.  Most of us are familiar with:  exercise, eating healthy, meditation, declutter, minimalist lifestyle, surround ourselves with positive, supportive people, to name a few.

Buetnner’s book contains research from Sonja Lyubomirsky.  She wrote a popular book a few years ago “The How of Happiness.  She discusses,  

          “the challenge lies in sustaining the new level of happiness.”

Lyubomirsky cautions, 

“If you repeat the same happiness-boosting strategies too often, they begin to feel routine.  They lost their ability to lift your spirits.”

 

 

We need to vary our activities. This concept can apply to our nutrition and diet. It can also apply to exercise, stretching and maintaining a healthy body. 

Marty, from  Snakes in the Grass  shared in  The Core of it All   how his chiropractor advised him,  doing the same sequence of stretches will lose it’s benefit over time.  We need to mix it up.  Our body does not derive the same benefit from doing the same, routine activities over and over again.  

For me, camping falls into this category.  I benefit from a change in my surroundings, a change in my activities and a change of pace.

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My Life

I appreciate my day to day life and the comforts of my home.

 I also feel great when I have a change of scenery, I vary my routine and I go camping.

I gain perspective and I feel the harmony, balance, and beauty in nature. 

I rest, recharge and replenish my spirit in solitude.  I am better able to manage life’s challenges.

I am reminded how I am a part of the bigger picture.  I belong here.  I am timeless. 

                          I become my Authentic Self.

                         

 

What activities make you feel your best?  Do you vary your routine?  Have you gone camping?

 

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Blog sites:  Thought-provoking, informative articles on the vast subject of Happiness.  

Kathy:  Smart Living 365   Shares many great posts helping us Live our Best Life.

Nancy:  Defining Third Age  A series of posts sharing information from courses she has taken on the Science of Happiness.

Leanne:  Cresting the Hill    Many interesting articles on the health benefits of “calm” “peace” “serenity” “balance” in our lives.  This specific post discusses the concept of “Unbusy.”  Choosing to be Unbusy in Retirement

 

Books I read on my Fall Camping Trip: 

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis.  I recently saw the “Magician’s Nephew” in Chemainus.  I was curious about the “Chronicles of Narnia” series. 

“The Book of Life” by Deborah Harkness.  Book three of “Old Souls Trilogy, A Discovery of Witches.” I read the first two books last Fall.

Embers” Richard Wagamese.  A book filled with rich, yet simple words containing a wealth of wisdom.  I LOVE this author.  This author was brought into my life by a lovely, smart, wise, intuitive, family member.  You know who you are.  Thank you for sharing your light.

The Blue Zones of Happiness” Dan Buettner 

A Mother for my Twins” by Jill Weatherholt.  I met Jill this past year following her blog site.  I was immediately pulled into this engaging story and I read the entire book in one evening. Suspense, characters you love, the concept of choices and forgiveness.  I did shed some tears at the end.  jillweatherholt.com 

 Better Blogging with Photography” by Terri Webster Schrandt.  An amazing photographer with a very interesting blog site.  Many gems in this book.  Second Wind Leisure Perspectives

“The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron

“Habits for Success” by Brian G. Benson

 

 

 

 

Grammy’s Grid Interview

I am delighted to be featured in this interesting and fun Blogging Grandmothers Series.  Thank you, Dee!

I am very grateful to be a Mother and a Grandmother.  My family makes me smile every day.   My love for them is endless and immeasurable. 

You can read my featured interview here:   Blogging Grandmothers Series 3 with Erica from behindthesceneryphoto

 

Please Join Me At SMARTLiving365 “Ten Things We Should Have Known Before We Started Blogging”

I love Kathy Gottberg’s sentence on how the “Ten Things We Should Have Known Before We Started Blogging” “….offer a glimpse into our personalities and how we approach both our blogs AND the world around us.”  This past year I was surprised to learn how blogging is actually a team sport.  I greatly appreciate all of the interesting, kind, supportive members of the team from all parts of the Globe. 

I am especially grateful for the privilege of meeting these amazing ladies.  I know you will appreciate the candor, insights and gems found in this post.

What things would you add to the list?

via Ten Things We Should Have Known Before We Started Blogging

 

 

Please Join Me At SMARTLiving 365 – I look forward to seeing you there!

I was honoured to be invited to contribute a guest post on Kathy Gottberg’s informative and inspirational blog  SMARTLiving365     SMART is an acronym for Sustainable, Meaningful, Aware, Responsible, Thankful. 

Kathy is passionate about positive aging, exploring new ideas, educating and sharing information.  Her articles are thought-provoking, relatable and filled with information encouraging us to be our best selves. If you have not had a chance to visit Kathy’s blog, I highly recommend you check it out.  I know you will appreciate the articles as much as I do.

I wrote the “Sliding Doors” story in November, 2018.  It is a story close to my heart since we celebrated our 40th Anniversary last Fall.  Have you had a “Sliding Door” moment in your life?

via    Sliding Doors – How Would Your Life Be Different If You Had Taken The Other Door?