“Every Wrinkle Came From A Smile” – Aging, With Grace

#aging, #beauty, #children, #daughters, #emmathompson, #family, #mothers, #plasticsurgery, #selfesteem 3 Minutes

Meet My Daughter, Sara, the author of a new blog “Relax, It’s all Write.” 

I know you will like her.

I am sharing her recent post.

At the end, I am sharing my “Response to Sara.”

Sara, Iceland 2017

“Every Wrinkle Came From A Smile” – Aging, With Grace

Every day, I see these beautiful young women on television, destroying their natural beauty. They get fillers, implants, nips, tucks, stretching and smoothing.

When I look at their “before”, I am in awe of their natural beauty. When I look at them “after”, I see a strange face and a false body…a facade…a severe lack of self-confidence.

They were already beautiful, so why did they feel the need to “improve”?

Society? Demons from their past? Those kids in school who made fun of their big nose? …aka. BULLIES!!

Even though they’ve grown into that big nose, the hurt of those kid’s comments stuck with them for life.

Their reflection comes by way of a broken mirror, a distorted version of what they truly look like.

And they think, “All I need is a nose job, and I’ll finally be confident in myself!”

Then, once the nose job is done, so follows the breast implants, tummy tuck, lip fillers, cheek implants, botox…

It’s never enough

Why can’t they understand that they are beautiful, regardless of who bullied them in the past, or that they don’t look exactly like some celebrity they admire?

SPOILER ALERT!! – Those celebrities are ALWAYS photo shopped. And, when they’re in person, they had a team of stylists, makeup artists, not to mention cinching undergarments, and other tricks to make them appear “perfect”.

NOT REALITY

Trying to aspire to a false reality will never bring you happiness…never.

To be fair, there are certain circumstances that may require a little assistance to get things in order, but that’s not who I am referring to.

I commend those celebrities who chose to Age with Grace. Embrace their wrinkles and wear them with pride!

Emma Thompson immediately comes to mind. She is stunning. Her face speaks of a rich history, and her confidence is evident.

Emma Thompson

My mom is not a celebrity, but she is my prime example of Aging with Grace. She is undeniably gorgeous! Everyone I know has commented, at one time or another.

My Mom and Little Sis

She once told me that she loves the lines in her face, because every one started out as a smile.

That stuck with me

Sure, I have my own insecurities, parts of my body I wish were smaller, tighter. I’m nearly 40, and my face is beginning to change. But, I will never alter it.

It is my face. It has seen me through the good and the bad.

The skin around my eyes scrunches when I smile. I’m sure wrinkles are soon to follow, but I will embrace them, for they are authentically me.

I like me.

I’m not perfect, but who is?!

A plastic version of one’s self is nothing more than a mask. Why are you hiding? Surely, surgery won’t resolve what troubles you so.

Pretty, right?! …SHE ISN’T REAL

There are other avenues, ones that target the REAL reason for your lack of self-esteem, your insatiable need for “perfection”.

I encourage you, reach out and find another solution, one that will bring you true resolve.

Creating a mask won’t fix the underlying issues.

You need to go much deeper than where a scalpel can reach.

Sara

My Response to Sara

Reading Sara’s post late last night, tears brimming

Tell Me I Did Okay

The clothes on the floor.

The OMG moments. 

Did I go wrong?  Did I do right?

               Tell me I did okay.  

I do not know.

I lead by example.  I lead by mistakes.

I am not perfect.  I try my best.  

               Tell me I did okay.

Let them live their own life. 

Let them make mistakes.

I know they can do it.

Step away.

                Will I be okay?

Did I go wrong?  Did I do right?

I am not perfect.  I try my best.

I am proud of my daughters.

I know today.

                    I Did Okay.

Alisha and Sara

You can find out more about Sara and her blog “Relax, It’s all Write” here:

“Why I Decided to Blog” https://relaxitsallwrite.wordpress.com/2020/09/11/why-i-decided-to-blog/?wref=tp

“Who am I?” https://relaxitsallwrite.wordpress.com/about/

Have your children surprised you as adults?

What advice would you give to a new Mother?

Published

201 thoughts on ““Every Wrinkle Came From A Smile” – Aging, With Grace”

    1. Hi Margie, You likely know first hand some of worries we had when our children were young. And, of course, we still worry about them. I wish I could have told my future self that all was going to be okay. Thank you for reading and sharing your kind comment.

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      1. “Eternal optimist”words attracted me to read post and all comments too. There is eternity present within us, these lines of wrinkles may become rugs of ladder to really experience it too. My posts on my blog is about that journey. Before experiencing that eternity one must have confidence on it.

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  2. I greatly appreciated reading Sarah’s insightful post. We still live in a youth-oriented society, where age is something that needs to be fixed. For quite some time, it has confounded me to hear expressions such as “you’re as young as you feel” or “I’m eighty-years young,” as if age or being old is a negative state. As for my aging face, every time I look in the mirror, I see my mother’s face looking back at me. To deny my aging would be to deny her as well.

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    2. I agree with you, Liz, how some of the pressures are societal and cultural. Goosebumps on how you describe your Mother’s face looking back at you in a positive light. You remind me how a great deal in life is due to interpretation and perspective. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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  3. Several years ago I learned something in an unusual way. I rarely watch daytime TV but once in a while I will tape The Talk. I admired the beautiful women. They seemed real and their discussion was interesting (and non-political!). They are very much about empowering women. For one show, they all appeared without makeup. OMG! The took out their extensions that made their hair so wonderful. They looked like me. At that point I knew I could look gorgeous if I wanted to invest in the time. I do not. I’m lucky in that I don’t have the struggles some of my friends have. I am very grateful. I am healthy, mobile and have most of my wits about me. What more can you ask for? Oh yes, I have a lifelong friendship with Lady Clairol and that’s enough for me.

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    1. YES!! I feel this. Seeing celebrities without makeup does help one realize that they ARE normal people. They are not perfect…whatever that means. Relatable celebrities are the ones i support the most, those who will go outside without makeup, share their “flaws”, keep them and their families out of the limelight (as much as they can). “Healthy, mobile, have MOST of my wits about me” haha! Most is better than none! Thank you for your supportive comment 🙂

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    2. I am with you Kate, I appreciate when women empower women. And, men, husbands, and especially Fathers play a huge role in their daughter’s self esteem. It is fun to play around with makeup and hair, yet, not be obsessed with outer appearance. A huge smile and I relate to “most of my wits about me.”😊

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    2. A huge belly laugh, Nancy. 😊 (Almost) everyone is wearing masks now so no need for lipstick or makeup. I am still a big proponent of using a tooth brush. 😊 And, yes! Wrinkles for the right reasons!

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    2. Thank you, Donna, for your encouraging and supportive comment always. 💕 My response was not fancy, yet immediate and heartfelt. You know first hand what it is like raising children and all of our concerns. We learn a great deal from them, too. Have a great rest of your weekend and I look forward to seeing you soon.xx

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  8. You’re ok Erica and so is Sara – you’re both more than ok. I can’t tell you how many women I know who’ve had tucks, nips, and all the other things they do to keep up an appearance to the outside world – and to themselves. The fear of aging is real – I think it brings to light the reality of death. Why this lack of self worth for who they really are? It’s really a denial, to themselves and those they know. I’m sorry if I sound judgmental – I sometimes think about having my neck lifted or a bit of Botox here and there – a fantasy to be sure but it gets me thinking. Thank you both for this thought provoking post.

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    1. “I think it brings to light the reality of death”. I hadn’t thought about it like this before. Very interesting insight. I appreciate your input because it does “bring to light” an alternative perspective. Thank you for this!

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    2. You are right, Susan, unfortunately the fear of aging is real on many levels. You made me think about “…and those they know.” Friends and family can see the beauty in an individual. Yet, they often do not see it themselves.

      And, yes, not judgy. As Sara indicated, there are certain circumstances that may require a little assistance…

      Thank you for your supportive comment, Susan, and sharing your wisdom.

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  9. You did good, Erica. You’ve helped raise a lovely confident thoughtful soul. A beautiful post from Sara, and I loved your response. Needed tissues for this one. I hope your smile lines get a little deeper today. ❤ ❤

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    2. Thank you, Diana. I had my doubts and worries over the years and I know these feelings will continue. All under the definition of “Mother.”😊 Yet, I wish my younger self would have seen my adult daughters as they are now. My response to Sara was my gut reaction reading this post late at night. Yes, lots of tissues. Thank you for adding to my smile lines, Diana, with your kind and thoughtful words.❤️

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  10. Oh wow, thank you for the lovely tribute!! You always speak so highly of your wonderful blogging community, and I appreciate the introduction! LOVE the poem…am I rubbing off on you? lol And no, you didn’t do okay. You did FAR beyond okay. You are the most amazing mom in a million different ways, and I am fortunate to be called your daughter. XOXO

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    1. The poem was my late night reaction and response to reading your post, Sara. And, yes, you are rubbing off on me. ❤️ I have learned some of the greatest lessons in life, from the moment I became your Mother, “A tale as old as time…”❤️ Continue to enjoy blogging, with no rules and have fun exploring your creativity. And yes, exceptionally supportive, kind, blogging community.❤️ XOXO

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  12. A writer and poet
    You did OK
    I should know it,

    Charlie’s angels with me
    Girls then women
    Now mothers all three.

    Head of our clan
    Leading by example
    The best you can.

    Every wrinkle a story
    Honestly earned
    Through laughter and worry.

    Beauty starts from within
    Shines on through
    This skinsack called life.

    I’m proud to know you
    To call you my wife.
    “Get your own Blog”
    Not on your life!

    A new wrinkle Is started.
    What else can I say.
    I love you more
    Each and every day.

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    1. Okay, well, this is simply beautiful. I’m not crying…you are. Didn’t know you had it in you, Chuck. Perhaps I got my love of writing from two sources 🙂 Btw…”Get your own blog, not on your life”…literal laugh out loud!! Great poem, seems I’m rubbing off on you both :).

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    2. Thank you, Chuck. The girls are very fortunate to have you as their Father and me as your partner and friend for life. ❤️ Very witty “Charlie’s angels” “skin sack”. And the privilege of new wrinkles with more smiles (and worries lol). ❤️

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  13. My sons are soon going to be 18 and 15 years old. Where did the years go? Sometimes I am amazed that they are turning out so well. They do things that are upsetting and sometimes selfish or inconsiderate, but they also do wonderful and caring things. They are young and still learning. I look around and see the problems some other parents have with their kids with drugs and alcohol and I know I am very blessed.

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    1. Many great, rewarding years ahead of you, Robbie. And, you are right, it all goes very fast. I wonder about teenagers who sound too perfect. We know some of those smile lines come from worries along the way. 🙂And I agree, we are very blessed.😊

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  14. Oh, I do not know where to start, such wonderful wisdom, I can’t wait to share it. And tears filled my eyes, at your words and your mom’s. Congratulations on starting your blog you have a lot to share. Blessings, Michele

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    2. Thank you, Michele, for your kind, thoughtful and supportive comment. We try our best, yet there are always lessons along the way. My initial reaction to Sara’s post was I wish I knew everything was going to be okay. Most of us know how teenage years can be challenging and worrisome. Part of our journey, too.❤️

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  16. You’ve raised a lovely daughter, Erica. I can’t think of anything more special than a loving relationship between a mother and daughter. I have one with my own mother…she is my world. Here’s to departing this life with as many lines as possible!

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    2. Thank you, Jill. I know this year has been extra challenging to spend time with your Mother along with many other concerns. We are blessed to have this special relationship with our families. Thank you for adding to my smile lines with your lovely comment.❤️

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    2. Thank you, Jo. We are fortunate we live relatively close to each other. Unfortunately, this is not the case for you and many others, especially this year. Take care and I look forward to your gorgeous photos, always a bright part of my week.🙂

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  19. Well… I must have done a lot of smiling! 🙂 I can’t say that I’ve never been tempted to try something like botox, especially when I have several friends who do. So far, I’ve resisted and that will probably continue. Since we’ve been in the Covid zone, I’ve also stopped highlighting my hair and let it grow out whichever way it wants (it’s still fine and straight, darn it). I do want to get some eyebrows back, though, and plan to succumb to that vanity after we are safe again.

    Erica, your daughters are lovely people. You did good!

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    2. Janis, You always look great, especially your radiating, kind smile. The hair thing has been really interesting this past year. I also let my hair grow out and do whatever and I began to look like Darlene in Ozark (if you haven’t seen the series, she is a scary lady). Therefore, a haircut and some highlights/lowlights recently. I did not want to scare the neighbours.

      Thank you for your supportive comment. Grateful, always.😊

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  20. Hello Sara and Erica, this is such a beautiful and heartwarming post. You must be so proud of your daughter Erica and how I love your philosophy on life Sara. As a mum of both a 19yo son and a 22yo daughter I know how important it is to instil a sense of self worth. Beauty radiates from the inside. Much love to you both and keep smiling. xx

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    2. You say this really well, Miriam, “beauty radiates from the inside.” I thought about this when reading through the comments today. We often almost forget what a person looks like when we just enjoy their company, their energy and how they make us feel. Wow, 19 yo son and 22 yo daughter, you can already see how time has gone by quickly. Many more smile lines on the horizon, Miriam.xx

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    2. Thank you for your very kind comment, Antoinette. You also remind me today how Fathers have a huge influence on their daughters. Your beautiful tribute to your Father still brings tears to my eyes. Hugs.❤️

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  22. Hi Erica (and Sara) – How lovely to have another blogger in the family. My DIL got inspired to blog after she saw how much I love it – but (like the majority) she only lasted a few months before life got in the way – with a 2yr old and new baby it was just too much. Hopefully Sara’s chosen a time in life where she can set aside the time and enjoy the process. This post on the insecurity of young women is certainly something most of us can relate to – I notice that every IG famous/reality show famous young woman looks the same as the next one – and the time and effort that goes into looking so weirdly “alien” just astounds me. I often wonder if they’ll look back at their ballooned lips and tight faces later in life and wonder what they were thinking doing that to themselves.

    I am eternally grateful that I raised a daughter who is confident in her own natural beauty and a son who loves his wife whether she’s wearing make-up or completely natural. Buying into this false “glamourised” world makes me so sad – and the pressure these insecure women place upon themselves saddens me even more.

    Welcome to the blogosphere Sara – long may you write xx and PS: Your mum rocks!!

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    1. Interesting, Leanne, how your DIL began blogging when she saw how much you loved it. Sara has recently started contributing to some of the word and photo prompts and I think this allows for writing and creating shorter posts. She also has a young family, yet she has been writing almost every day of her life. I love your wise words “enjoy the process.”

      I agree how this is a relatable post throughout periods in our life. A testament to you, Leanne, how your daughter is confident in her own natural beauty. Yet, we learn quickly how they have to live their own journeys. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom.xx

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    2. I totally feel the two-year-old and new baby syndrome. I’m in the thick of it as we speak. I wish I had more time to write, but I’m just trying to take every little chance I can get at this point. “Alien” is the perfect description. Definitely otherworldly. It’s unfortunate. Thank you for welcoming me to the blogosphere, Leanne. And yes, she ROCKS!! 🙂

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  23. Great job, Erica! Sara has got her priorities in order, and that should provide you with comfort. If we all worried more about making ourselves beautiful on the inside, the world would be a far more tolerant place where people wouldn’t have to resort to altering their physical appearance so much.

    If I were to give any young parent advice, it would be not to beat yourself up. You do your best as a parent, and you’re not going to make mistakes just like your children will. More often than not, you’ll make the right choices. The best thing you can teach your children is how to carry yourself in good times and in bad. They’re learning from us all the time, even when we’re not speaking.

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    1. Thank you, Pete, for sharing your kind and supportive words. My husband has been a wonderful influence on our daughters. He has set the bar high for the men who enter their lives. I know you are an educator and a parent, I appreciate your young parent advice. I love your words “…learning from us all the time, even when we’re not speaking”. You also remind me how children are influenced by other people in their lives, especially their teachers. Thank you!😊

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  25. Hi Erica,

    Sara’s post is both lovely and important for all women as the aging process continues to move forward. You did well as a mom of two, also! I can totally relate having a daughter (29) and a son (25). It’s amazing how much wisdom they have shared with my husband and I. Sometimes, I’m not real proud of parts of my body, but then they both tell me that I’m beautiful, especially at 59! Well, we are our own worst critics, aren’t we? But I’m with Sara, no Botox. Let those lines of history show themselves. And when we raise amazing children, there is nothing better to be proud of. It’s all in the heart and the heart knows best. Thank you for sharing Sara’s insightful post with such a vital message. You are both beautiful and very blessed.
    ~Lauren 💗

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    1. Hi Lauren, You are right, how our children share their wisdom with us. Most parents have many concerns when raising their children and they forever change us from the moment they enter our lives. I love your phrase “it’s all in the heart and the heart knows best.” ❤️ Thank you for sharing your thoughtful, supportive words. Yes, we are both blessed.❤️

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  26. Hi Erica and Sara, Love your thoughts… such love that drips through your words! I also believe in aging gracefully and Erica, you have done a wonderful job, not just okay, you rock! We all make mistakes but then nobody is above them. When our children make us proud, we know we’ve done well. Love and hugs.

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    1. Hi Balroop, I initially wondered whether sharing this post was too sappy, yet it carries messages that resonate with many. Raising children, the worries, the joys all contribute to the lines on my face. Thank you for your kind, supportive and wise words.xx

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  27. Hi Erica, your daughter’s post reminded me of a conversation I had a long time ago with a client. She’d been married for ten years, had a couple of children AND had cosmetic surgery to “correct” this or “fix” that. She was worried that she wasn’t young and sexy anymore and that her husband would leave her for a younger version. Mind you, this client was already stunningly beautiful and the nips and tucks were small and undetectable to others (I knew because she told me of them). She was going through a small patch of insecurity issues and was worried about it all. I told her that she was one of the most beautiful women that I’d ever met in my life and part of why she was so beautiful, was the fact that she’d done what no man could ever do!! She’d created life in her womb!! She’d been pregnant and carried that child through to term, given birth and nurtured not one but two children throughout their short lives. Nothing is ever as sexy as that!! Nothing a man does could ever top that!!
    Wrinkles truly are a timeline of one’s life and the more wrinkles, the more life you’ve lived. I welcomed mine years ago because I knew that I’d earned each and every one of them. They are the roadmap of my experiences and I wouldn’t trade them for the world!! Now, losing my hair, is a different matter…… haha!!!
    Keep on writing the wrongs of the World, dear friend!!!

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    1. Really nice to see you here and I greatly appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Mon.

      You have heard and seen a great deal in your career. Your clients appreciate you sharing your insights. Especially, when the wisdom is shared from the perspective of a man. You make a good point on “…small patch of insecurity issues…” We have all been there. As my good friend on fb said “raising strong, healthy, confident girls is such a challenge” and this phrase can also be attributed to boys/men.

      You describe well, Mon, the miracle of carrying a child in the womb. Very profound and moving advice!

      Huge belly laugh about the hair. I had let my ‘natural’ hair do whatever this past year. One day I walked by a mirror and I saw, Darlene from “Ozark.” Scary. Now a trim with some highlights and lowlights. I don’t want to scare the neighbours. Thank you for your thoughtful, wise and kind comment, Mon.❤️

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    2. Thank you, Mon! You touched on something I hadn’t considered before, but now that you mention it… The BEST I ever felt in my life was when I was pregnant. Oily skin, thinning hair, expanding thighs, stretch marks. But I felt BEAUTIFUL! Your input is much appreciated 🙂

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    1. Hi Natalie, Sara has been writing her entire life, especially writing long stories/novels. She has a young family and a blog can be more fun and doable right now. Recently, she has started contributing to word prompts. As you know, no rules, and especially keep it fun. Thank you for your kind and lovely comment.😊

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    1. I do agree with your daughter – I feel sad when is see the identikit Barbie dolls many contemporary young women turn themselves into. Then I swing to thinking that’s patronising and they have a right to look whatever way they want! Or more likely, what society pressures them into wanting. Still sad. Emma Thompson is a great example of a woman ageing gracefully, in fact I think she is more beautiful now than she was in her 30s. I love your saying that every wrinkle started as a smile – I’ll remember that one! And, yes, it looks as though you did more than ok.

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      1. I agree with you, Anabel, I do have mixed feelings on looks. Hair, makeup, feeling better, possibly not the extremes. We all know how beauty and confidence is an inside job, especially as we get older. It is interesting what children remember us saying. Thank you for sharing your insights and kind comment. One more smile line for me today.

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      2. I swing back and forth as well, because everyone does have the right to feel beautiful, and if a little tuck helps that, then great! I have more of an issue with the “extremes”, when they don’t even look like themselves anymore. I agree that Emma Thompson (to me) is more beautiful now than before…not saying she wasn’t before, but there’s something about her confidence that radiates. Thank you for your kind comments, Anabel 🙂

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    3. Thank you Mark for visiting and sharing your thoughts. It is always great to hear from a man’s perspective. Your words remind me of my husband’s response a few years ago. I told him how I am obviously getting and looking older these days. His response “isn’t that the whole point.”

      Thank you for your kind and supportive comment.

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  30. No children, no advice. I agree with you about how you have to consciously decide to age gracefully. Friends who fight the process end up discontented, while those of us who take the wrinkles + pounds in stride keep going forward happily [enough]. And now I’m off to read your daughter’s blog.

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    1. A good point, Ally, on consciously deciding to age gracefully. This may happen easier with time. And we are happier for it. I used to wear a little makeup and now my skin does not like it. Besides, our masks seem to hide any imperfections.😊 My daughter Sara has started contributing to word prompts. Another creative outlet for her. As you well know, “fun” is the important word.😊

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  31. Oh Erica, this was so beautiful, especially Sara’s comments about you. You are so beautiful on the inside as well as the outside and i’m so glad to have met you in the blogging world.

    I can assure you that you did more than Ok, you have done a brilliant job as a mother and grandmother. I enjoyed Sara’s words and your response and I have had many moments when my daughters have surprised me. We are lucky to have these types of relationships with our children, no not lucky, we have worked hard to get to where we are and they are a product of our mothering. We must have done something right!!

    Off to read more of Sara’s words. See you soonish xx

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    1. Thank you for your very kind comment, Deb, which says a great deal about you. Your encouragement and generosity of spirit always makes a difference in my day and with many others.❤️

      I initially debated sharing this post, yet I feel it resonates with many on different levels. My gut reaction is how I had all of the worries and sleepless nights raising young girls and teenagers. I wish my young Mom self would have known all was going to be okay. Of course, it does not always work this way. Also, part of our growth process and the journey.

      As you well know, Deb, we continue to worry about our children and now extended family. Part of the territory. It is a joy and privilege to be part of their lives. ❤️ I look forward to more sharing and connecting with you soon.xx

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  32. You lead by example, you did perfectly, Erica. Your worries and sleepless night show that you’re conscientious about doing a good job as a young mother. You’ve tried your best and it turned out perfect. Sara’s comment about you tells you her appreciation of you.

    Sara’s post is beautiful. It shows her confidence and appreciation of what life is given to her. She is beautiful inside and out. Reading and hearing the compliment from your daughter must put a few more lines mixed with tears on your face. It warms my heart and makes me cry also.

    Thank you for sharing her post and your response to her. ❤

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    1. You know first hand about raising daughters, Miriam. Of course, our concerns as a Mother never end. Despite the worries and sleepless nights, I would not have wanted to miss one second of the time I have with both of my daughters. I am grateful for all. Thank you for adding another smile line to my face with your lovely comment.❤️

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    2. Very sweet of you to say, Miriam. A turning point for me was when I found out my mom wasn’t perfect lol. As a kid, I wasn’t privy to much she struggled with. It wasn’t until I was older and realized she IS human, has struggles, but works through them with a lot of self-reflection, compassion with herself, positive affirmations, appreciating the little things etc She does the work to be happy. It let me know that it’s okay for me to struggle with things, and know that with hard work I too can overcome and excel!

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      1. I can relate to your experience perfectly. It felt so good when I started to share with my daughter. She only watched what I did but didn’t understand the reasons. She finally asked me why I did what I did and I shared with her there were not too many options. I could stay where I was and struggle the rest of my life or keep pressing on. Regardless of choices, there are some unpleasant consequences that we must accept.

        Good to chat with you!

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    1. Thank you for your kind comment, Jo. I had debated on sharing this post, yet I think it covers topics that resonate with many people. You know first hand about raising a daughter, and the joy, the blessings and the worries. Your “little ray of sunshine.” ❤️

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    1. Thank you Laurie, for your very kind, supportive comment. I initially debated on sharing this post, yet I think it carries a message that resonates with many. You also know first hand about raising children with your three sons. 🙂

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    1. Nice to meet you, Geri. I feel very blessed to have my daughters and grandchildren nearby. They are the highlight of my life. Concerns and worries come with the territory of being a parent. Thank you for visiting here and sharing your thoughts. I look forward to learning more about you and visiting your blog.🙂

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    1. Thank you, Betsy, for sharing your kind, supportive comment. You are having fun with the earlier stages of this Parent Thing.🙂 You have likely heard it before…it just gets better and better.🙂

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  38. You have a gorgeous family, Erica. And, based on what I’ve been reading on your blog and seeing in the photos, I’d say you did better than okay! As I don’t have children and never was a new mother, I have nothing to add to that conversation except that family is precious. Other than that, I agree with Sara 100%. Heck, I don’t even use make-up. Never owned any either. 🙂

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    1. Thank you for your kind comment, Liesbet. You are right, how family (including our fur family) is precious. I feel very blessed, especially how we live relatively close to each other. Makeup and hair can be fun, yet a problem if self esteem solely comes from looks. Your makeup, Liesbet, is health and happiness. You radiate beauty.❤️

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    2. Good for you! The more I think about it, the more unnecessary it seems. Doesn’t mean I’m going to not wear makeup, but I can still feel beautiful without it. I appreciate your comments, Liesbet!

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  39. there really is no right or wrong in parenting but proof is in the closeness now! And it sure sounds close 🙂

    May I suggest we be very careful what we wish for … I had very big bazookas that caused me loads of grief eg discomfort, aching shoulders, frequent molestation, etc. So for ages had thought of reduction then cancer tried to kill me so I had the surgeon take both. Only had cancer in the one but didn’t like the idea of being lopsided 🙂

    Chose not to rebuild as I don’t need them … been 8 years cancer free. No more bras no more mammograms … be happy with who you are, I am alive 🙂

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    1. Wow, Kate, you have had huge challenges in your life. Thank you for sharing the wisdom you gleaned on your journey. I love your words “…be happy with who you are, I am alive.” Powerful words. Thank you! 🙂

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    2. There are absolutely situations where plastic surgery is useful/necessary, 100%! Wow, congratulations on being a survivor!!! That’s amazing to hear you’ve been cancer free for 8 years!! And that you are confident with your body. That body’s been through a lot. It deserves to rest. Thanks again for your support Kate 🙂

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  40. Hi Erica. Omg, I loveddddddddddddddd this post. Your daughter is a wise woman. So much of women’s insecurities are exacerbated by TV personalities. Sarah has written truth here. It’s sad to think that so many girls and women feel inadequate with themselves because they either compare themselves to others or don’t get the uplifting they need from the circles they are in. This is an empowering article. Hugs xx

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    1. Thank you, Debbie, for your kind comment. I was very moved reading my daughter’s post and the wisdom she shared. It is comforting for me to read as her Mother and also the perspective on another generation. It makes me feel hopeful for our future generations.

      I continue to read the comments from your recent post on WP Block editor updates. We continue to learn from each other. “empower” each other. Great word, Debbie! xx

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    2. Very appreciated, Debbie!! Social media has made things 1000x worse. Insta-models are all about using filters and manipulating their true selves. Some are brave enough to post “Reality vs Instagram” where they show themselves before all the alterations. And they are BEAUTIFUL! But, they change their photos to fit into the world. It’s very unfortunate. Thank you for your kind comment 🙂

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  41. Sara’s not my daughter but this made me cry too! A fabulous post that should be sent to every woman from the age of 15 to 95. Perhaps even younger than 15 since our granddaughter at 12 1/2 is starting to aspire to look like a beautiful teen. And she is so beautiful as a 12-year-old girl that I don’t want her to try to aspire to be anything but herself. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder – that’s a Shakespeare quote I believe. But truly, beauty should be in the eyes of ourselves. If we see the beauty in our soul, that should be all that we need. So much to say here but really Sara said it all beautifully. And Erica your poem is one that we mothers have all asked. My answer to parenting is to just love your children and let them discover themselves without any structure of what they “should be.”

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    1. Thank you, Pam, for your kind, thoughtful words. I was very moved reading my daughter’s post. The last few decades flashed in front of me. All of the worries and concerns when raising our children. You are right, I am now reliving some of these feelings with my granddaughters. As parents/Mothers we always see the beauty in our children and yet, we hope they also see the beauty in themselves.

      My poem is simple yet my gut reaction that evening, overcome with emotion and through tears. ❤️

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    2. Once again, Pam, I greatly appreciate you saying this. I think schools should have a class, purely based on building confidence and self-esteem. Teaching kids to feel confident in their own skin. And not to bully others, because that often changes a confident kid’s perception of themselves. Thanks again!

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  42. Hi Erica and Sara – brilliant … so well done to both of you … a happy home with supportive parents helps … not having children (nor my brothers) – I learn from other blogging friends and the value of other family members or close friends … I’ve lived and learnt … but this is just great – positiveness for us all. Thank you – take care – Hilary

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    1. Hilary, I have found many times, “It takes a village.” Many people, teachers, friends, neighbours, strangers make a huge difference in children’s lives. Your kindness and influence will have created a ripple effect in someone’s life. Such as today. Thank you. xx

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      1. Hi Sara – I guessed that … ‘it’ comes over – and you and your children are very lucky – but you’re obviously appreciative of their approach to life. Good luck – I’m just always happy to see a full and loving family … take care – Hilary

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    2. Nice to meet you, Beck. Thank you for your kind words. I was surprised and very moved by my daughter, Sara’s post. I felt it was a message that would resonate with many people on many levels. I have been visiting and reading your beautiful and interesting blog. I have subscribed to your site. I am glad our paths have crossed. Take care and thank you for reading and leaving a comment. 😊

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      1. It’s tough because I’m moving into that age where I look in the mirror and more and more I see “flaws” but they aren’t flaws they are just signs of having lived a (for the most part) happy and fulfilled life. Maybe it’s part battle scars too. It is just such a time for me to practice self love. Your daughter’s words were beautiful— I hope my daughter can say the same of me.
        Thank you so much for sharing.

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        1. You are welcome, Beck. I have felt differently throughout the years and the decades. Possibly a little more acceptance for myself and others with time. I still get a momentary shock sometimes when I see myself in the mirror. lol. Raising children is such a responsibility, worry and joy. I quickly learned when they were teenagers how much of a journey and lessons it was for me, too. The learning and work in progress never stops. I think time becomes extra precious as I get older. I do not want to leave much left unsaid, especially the good words. Thanks again for sharing your insights and your perspective. ❤️

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  44. This is a wonderful post that speaks volumes about the brainwashing and false marketing that goes on in this world. Sara, I’m so glad that you had a strong role model in your Mom. The truth is, personality, intelligence and kindness go much further in relationships than external beauty. Bravo!

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    1. Thank you, Mark, You know first hand about some of the concerns raising children. I was taken by surprise reading Sara’s story. A gut, emotional reaction as to how proud I am of the the woman she has become. You are right, how inner beauty trumps outer beauty. We often forget how people look and ‘see’ their character instead.

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  46. This is lovely Erica, both your daughter’s post and your response. You must be very proud. And how fun to have your daughter following in your footsteps and starting a blog. There are times when I see signs of aging that don’t please me, but overall I am content with who I am. I certainly don’t want to go back in time. I’ve earned the wrinkles and the stretch marks. I haven’t yet given into the gray hair. 😂

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    1. Hi Christie, My daughter has been writing, since she could hold a pencil in her hands. She has been writing books the past few years, often a daunting endeavour. She recently began her blog and she loves the creative options of stories and word/photo prompts. I still walk by a mirror and wonder, who is that lady? And I also play around with hair. You always look great, Christie! You have a smile that radiates beauty and happiness.😀

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  47. You can tell by the number of comments this tag-team post received how it resonated with all of us. You did it right, you did more than okay, mama. Look at these daughters you raised. Look at the wonderful life you are living. You did it right!!

    I wonder what in the world these gals shot up full of silicone and Botox will look like and feel like in 25 years? What will we discover about all of the fillers that they had injected into them sometime in the future? Cannot be good.

    And check out my friend Emma. Cute girl back then, gorgeous now. Full of life experience and wearing her smiles. Just like we are. I finally gave up coloring my hair this year. Actually started last August before Covid, so can’t blame that. But am learning to embrace my natural color.

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    1. Hi Leslie, Your tag-team comment made me smile. I had debated sharing this story, yet I also believe it is a story that resonates with many on different levels. We all have our concerns raising children. As Mothers, we do not stop worrying and of course loving them. You look great in the photos I see on your blog and on Instagram. I think happiness and a radiating smile always looks beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your wisdom, Leslie.💕

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  48. Yeah! Erica, you did more than okay! Your daughter’s post shines through with wisdom, love of life … and look who’s been her greatest teacher – you! What a joy in laugh to have your daughter as a close friend and confidante – you’ve done well to inpsire her to blog and I look forward to her posts!

    Hope you’re all keeping well and you have a chance to see your wonderful grandchildren – Sara’s boys look adorable! hugs xx❤️

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    1. Thank you for your kind, supportive comment, Annika. It always means a great deal. ❤️ You know first hand about the concerns and the pride we feel about our children. Your son is an amazing, talented young man. Many, many hours of practising the piano and his creativity. I think about you and others every day with the recent health concerns, especially in specific communities. Take care and enjoy ‘today.’ (as you can see, I am trying to stay in the moment 💕)Hugs xx🌹❤️

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    1. Thank you MW for reading and your very kind words. I was taken by surprise when I read my daughter’s post. No guidebook when we are handed our newborn baby and raising children. We do the best we can which includes making mistakes along the way. I am thankful for the love and joy in this rewarding journey. Your words always warm my heart, too, MW. ❤️

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