10 Lessons I Learned From Writing My Own Eulogy

You Could Hear A Pin Drop

  • Did I hear the assignment correctly?
  • I do not feel comfortable about this.
  • Is the Universe trying to tell me something? 

The Writing Assignment For Next Week 

“Write your own eulogy in approximately 4 sentences and 75 words.”

 

New Zealand 2019

My Writing Group

I greatly respect these smart, witty, inspirational women. I really like them. They are my friends.

I am not going to be the first one to cave in and say “no, this assignment is not for me.”

I want to stay open to new perspectives and new challenges.

Writing a eulogy is a challenge.  

              Writing My Own Eulogy is a Daunting Task! 

New Zealand 2019

My Earliest Memories of Death

  • As a young child, I had a pet rabbit that disappeared one day. My parents told me it had died. Later on I heard some whispering about a stew. I am hoping I overheard incorrectly.
  • My other early memory is when I was sent home from school. I saw my parent’s sad, tear-stained faces. I was seven years old. I know the exact date. November 22, 1963. The day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. 
New Zealand 2019

Is The Universe Trying To Tell Me Something?

I would prefer not to think about death. Yet, I am not in denial. 

The concept of dying is in my radar often. Statistics are staring at me daily on every news site.  

We have been sheltering in place, quarantining, living life in limbo. We have not made plans and we have not seen many of our loved ones.  

I have been putting life on hold.

I have lost perspective.

Is this what The Universe is trying to tell me? 

Where Do I Begin My Eulogy?

Sixty plus years covers a lot of territory.

Many experiences. Many thoughts. Many emotions. Many loved ones.

               75 words is a drop in the bucket.

10 Lessons I Learned From Writing My Eulogy

 

1.  It is difficult and uncomfortable to say something nice about myself.  A common feeling.

Leanne Cresting The Hill  shares: “…finding and owning our positives…change the narrative to things I like about myself – I’m not sure why we all find that so hard to do?”

2.  Life’s greatest rewards are often found when I am feeling uncomfortable and taking risks.  

Living outside of my comfort zone is when I thrive and I feel fully alive.

Miriam, a kindred spirit, writes the blog Out an’ About   Her recent words describe this feeling well: “It’s about living life with no regrets, embracing it, with all of its ups and downs, the good times and the crazy times. Yes, we might make some mistakes along the way, but that’s when we learn all those life lessons that make up our story, and that’s when we discover what we’re capable of.”

3.  Make informed decisions, yet do not live your life in fear.

4.  Life should never be put on hold.

5.  I cannot truly write all I would like to say in 75 words. 

My actions will ultimately speak louder than any words I write.  

6.  Writing my eulogy taught me about the kind of person I want to be. 

The qualities I value versus my accomplishments and achievements.

7.  How do I affect the lives of others?  Have I made a difference in this world?

8.  Spend time with the people you love. 

      “She told them often how much she loved them.”

       “She knew life was precious and every day was a gift.”

9.  Facing the subject of death has brought a new perspective and clarity to how I live my present life.

10.  Writing my Eulogy is not a sad, depressing exercise.

                   Instead, it is life-affirming. 

 

A huge thank you to Leanne for posing this challenging exercise. I greatly appreciate my courageous friends for being vulnerable and open to this challenge. The gift of friendship, a priceless legacy.

Leanne shares my eulogy along with five other unique, insightful and entertaining eulogies in her post The 4 Sentence Eulogy Challenge  

 

Have you ever written a eulogy?  What lessons did you learn along the way?  

Have you put your life on hold during these unprecedented last few months?

 

Epilogue:

My Husband Reads My Eulogy Assignment

My husband: “That’s it?”

Me: “I am already over the word count.”

Me again:  “No tears?

My husband: “I just got an honourable mention.”

Me:  “I love you all equally, just in a different way. You know, apples and oranges.”

Me again:   “I expect you to write a longer eulogy for me. I expect some tears.”

          We both burst out laughing.

Inside, we know each other too well after 42 years.

Inside, we have a lump in our throats.

Inside, we both have tears.

Other posts you may enjoy discussing similar topics:

My Husband Returns Without His Pants On! We Were In For A Fun Time!

Do You Have Different Friends For Different Seasons?

When Blogging World Meets Real World

 

Butchart Gardens, June 2020

139 thoughts on “10 Lessons I Learned From Writing My Own Eulogy

  1. Yes! The term ‘seek discomfort’ really has its merits, because I too find that my growth often comes from uncomfortable situations. It’s nice to kick back and enjoy the fruits of your labour, but if we really want to grow, we have to continually push ourselves outside our comfort zones, as cliche as it sounds.

    I think about my death often too, and haven’t found a way to consolidate the inevitable, but your post has given me an idea. Maybe I should try it too. Thanks for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Stuart, This exercise was a little scary, yet I am glad I said, yes, to it. We did not spend a long time writing these eulogies and everyone had a different spin on it. In retrospect, I would have chosen different words. It was a good learning experience. I would be interested to read your take on this. 🙂 I greatly appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts.

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  2. What a thought provoking post and assignment. I have written eulogies for others but have not tackled my own. I enjoyed the banter between you and your husband. It does sound like a fascinating exercise. Keeping it to 75 words would be very challenging.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sue, I was very uncomfortable when this assignment was suggested to us. It is always our choice. And, I am glad I said, yes. In retrospect I would have chosen different words. It was also fun to get everyone’s varied input. Lots of giggles. I would be curious to read your take on this. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

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